wisdom

The wisdom of roses
is wasted on me
But my daughter
speaks the language
of raindrops
& I see,
She understands.

fragile

all the frailty

of a sparrow

rests inside

her sheltering wings

still she hides

how she shudders

she has made her

home in the hollow

of his bones

he could shatter

her spine

with his breath

a forgotten religion

It was once

the strand

that all my

childish hopes

hung upon.

(Love as

little lights)

Each one crushed

by hands

or hearts

that played too

rough,

with such

a delicate thing.

I cannot bring

myself

to kneel

before it now.

I’ve forgotten how

to believe in it…

& it never

believed in me

against your critics

They will try to

break your spirit

and take

what they can

from you.

Creative carnivores,

hungry to devour

the lion’s share

of your light.

But you are bright

and stronger

than they,

could ever know.

You are both,

a star

and a mountain.

stitched silent

when it all falls down

when you make

a bed they say

you’ll have to lay

in it

so I do.

I must stop wishing

for a room

with a view

when I built these

brick walls

without windows.

my comforts

& defenses

will eventually

fall.

and that bed will

crumble,

just like those walls,

into rubble

around me

& drown me

in the dust

of all the

choices

that I made

reaching the shore

our shoes

& souls

are wearing thin

from these many

miles we’ve walked

(arm in arm)

muscles aching &

 hearts drenched

from treading

the seas of our

changing

affections.

when we arrive

together

on a not so

distant shore

the sands

will be stained

with our footsteps,

walking in

different directions

caged

a wish at this late hour

I wish we had been

children together,

With scraped knees

& mud stains on our clothes.

We could have grown

Then, parallel

& I would have known

your scars

without your telling.

We could have

<<whispered>>

our secrets &

listened

with innocent ears.

Your hand in mine,

fingers entwined

conquering all of our fears…

I wish

We had been

children together.

Because here,

beside you now

at this late hour,

the rest of my lifetime

is not long enough.

in bloom

Together, we can

not be azure. It is

far too pale

too timid.

We are indigo,

My Love, both

Deeper from seeping

Into each others’ veins.

Slowly opening.

Two halves

of the same

flower.

Blossoming rich

Wreathed in

each other’s

petals

Fragrant & bright.

We nourish ourselves

With the light

That’s conceived

At our joining.

We are safe

Here in our glow

Where the moon

shines dim

in our beauty &

The sun wilts

from our warmth.

abandonment

We ambled together
In concord, long.
Softly approaching
the light
When you turned to me
coldly, & said
somehow boldly
"I'm afraid it is getting too bright"

My soul then could
scarcely imagine
the sorrow I'd soon
understand
You turned from me there
in a moment
(so bare)
And you plucked your hand
from my hand

"Don't leave me here"
I begged
with a tear
"I'm afraid to be left now alone"
But I saw in your eye
The hollow goodbye
that in heartbreaks
before
I had known

Oh, God! How I cried
As you ripped
your soul
From my side,
Abandoned,
Standing in silence
SO CLOSE to the end...
Staggered by my
Solitude
& your severance
cruel & crude
Lone, there I wept
& mourned for my Friend.

a poem for the weird ones (spoken word)

I have a daughter.

She is beautiful & blonde, & eight

And just like any mother should,

I simply think she’s great.

The greatest thing, in fact

I’ve ever seen in all my life.

So, naturally, I want to shelter her,

and save her from all of the strife…

That comes,  when you’re feeling awkward & growing up.

Now, it isn’t obvious at a glance,

& most people couldn’t even chance,

 a guess

at why she feels slightly insecure at times.

I mean she’s as pretty as a flower

With wit & humor that could lighten any hour

She’s creative. Intelligent & bright…

So, it’s only natural that you might

Wonder, what,

in the whole wide world

Could make such a darling little girl

Think she’s “kind of weird”

The answer is actually

zombies.

Yes, that’s right,

Zombies…

And she Loves them.

I’m talking full on, brain-eating

Flesh-rotting zombies.

At a time when all of her friends

Are into princesses & fairies

Instead of sparkly tiaras & wings

My daughter, she is wearing

Her favorite,

“Have you seen my Zombie?” t-shirt.

So, because she is eight
& like I said,

Extremely smart,

she notices the differences that somehow

set her apart, from other kids her age.

And I know that these early trials,
are actively setting the stage...

for the really pivotal things that will come,

a few years down the road.

I want to ease her young mind & lessen her load, so I tell her…

“Who cares if everyone else likes princesses? Come on, fairies aren’t really that hip.

I mean think of it, you’re probably the only kid your age who will know how to survive if there’s a zombie apocalypse.

I know that you might feel different, but that‘s what I think is so great. You are brave enough to be yourself, and that’s pretty incredible for someone who’s eight.

If you were just like everyone else, then no one would be like you. And the world would be missing all of the funny & beautiful things that you do.”

So, to all other parents, I’ll say this… Actually, I am imploring,

Teach your children that the differences in all of us are what keep life from being boring.

And to all of the kids,

and the grown-up kids, who feel a little like a freak.

Love yourself & praise the things that make you so unique.

Never be afraid to unabashedly be yourself,

Because if you don’t, you’ll end up

being someone else.

discomposure

Now humbled
My heart,
bruised,
Laughs.
Strangely amused
at the faltering
of my mind
And I find...
you are so deep
It's a thing I cannot
grasp.
Our hands
are clasped,
and I sink
under the feeling.
A heavy tongue
that bitten
swells.
There is Hell
in empty hallways
and cold that
lingers
under fingers
Tracing vacant
pillows.
Provocation. Possibility.
Whispered in ears
Clashes with fears
and consequence.
Past the points
of common sense
Beyond hopeful
resistance.

I will lose
myself,

in you.

the ocean

There was a time
when you were nothing
more to me
Than a passing smile.
A time when you
meant less
than a raindrop
in the ocean
(so insignificant)
Then you came,
Like thunder
pounding your way
into my heart.
Crashing into me,
Electrifying my soul
with your lightening,
& striking me
in two.
Oh, there was
a time,
when you were
unsubstantial...
Now,
I am the raindrop
& you are the ocean.



(Did you feel me fall?)

drowning.(in.dry.river.(beds)).

Love

This river of dust

Might bury

the hopes in these

bright eyes & choke

the memories of

other waters

& their reflections of skies

once, limitless

with dreams.

Roots & mountains

Torn at the seams

Where heartbeats

bind us together.

Endless vistas

of you, sprawling

out forever.

I have found

my home there.

As you are moving on.

reveiller

The waking sun
crept through the window
Casting bright
white lines
across the bottom
of your bed.
I smiled
& stretched my toes
towards it,
as my fingers reached
towards you.
Touching light
in both
directions

In other worlds, your words
would matter, so much less.
But, here, now,
At the heart of a sadder reality
They mean everything.
What you say & what you won't
will soon
define & consume us.

disposable (on garbage night)

You will wait

for Monday night

to haul me off

to the curb.

I am disposable, after all.

Not a synthetic, plastic Love

that can later be recycled

into something new

& far too

Hazardous a thing

to compost.

Just imagine what might

Happen

when I started to break down,

or even worse...

What I might, grow into again.

echoes

awake in the shadow

of your slumber

i press myself

against your silence,

as if the quiet

might speak your soul

out loud.

head to heart, i listen

feeling the life i Love

flutter.

rising & falling

inside you.

could i hear your truths,

i wonder, if they

would echo mine

a million little

“i Love you's”

vibrating through

your chest.

eyelashes

* for Lillian, my Love. who is the light of my life.

I counted your eyelashes

this morning.

At least,

I almost did.

Were my eyes better,

or they, less thick

it could be more precise.

I saw them all, in line,

flutter as you sighed dreaming.

Your loveliness was so precious and pure.

I wanted to bookmark

the moment in my heart.

So that in the pass

of time,

when you have grown

from my side,

I can remember this fondly,

and say,

“She was lovely and precious and mine.

And she had 63 eyelashes above her left eye”

(approximately)

desolation

Its strange
(in such a brief time)
How you had written your
self, all over my life.
How, now,
even the simple things
bring
memories of you.
Your crooked smile growing
in the corner of my eye.
The ghosts of your fingers on my skin.
Your smell still lingering on clothing.
Tears and soap
can only wash away
so much.
Your absence
is all around me.
How painful it is
to try to enjoy
my favorite
films. novels. songs.
they are all alive
and screaming out
your name.
Like dusty signs that read
"He was here. Now he is gone."

forest fire

(this one is for my little sister. in the hopes that she will always see her light)

He was a forest fire

Full of rage

& passion

Always burning hot

& wild

With desires that

Consumed

The changing

Autumn leaves

Of her landscape.

Tears were too weak

to extinguish

those flames.

& after the smoke

All that remained

Was a desolate space

Where all of her colors died

Laying in graying

Piles of ash.

But  I come, with

A healing heart

hands full of

glue & watercolors & brushes.

To piece her beauty back

inside her.

Paint her new scenes

to remind her

that her soul

is a light

& she

was made for springtime.

fly away

(in anticipation of a moment that is sure to come)

The sky came

falling on our heads.

My heart

was in your hands

While yours

was in my teeth.

You couldn’t hold me up

&

What more could I have said?

No umbrella

would shelter us from this

if a kiss

could make us crumble.

Freedom was a bird

& she wept

When she left us here

To drown in her rain.

In all my selfish pain

I still knew…

That you, were always

More than us.

So I stitched

my heart

Back onto my sleeve

When you needed

your hands

To fly away.

awareness

awareness

comes in these moments

stifling  terror of emotion.

how can I breathe?

when

yourethisclosetome

how will I breathe

when you’re gone?