Bigger Than My Body

I hate being described as the skinny girl
Getting dissed & dismissed for being small
Like all that I amount to, is my lack of extra skin
when my body, is only a place where the size of me begins
If I could somehow be cracked open, & laid bare for
all the world to see, with this pounding heart (as a place to start)
measuring the expansiveness of me.
I am big, even infinite.
I am a lover & a mother, a daughter, sister, & an aunt
I've carried Loves & burdens that much larger people can't
I have held a dying hand & sang
"Amazing Grace" to help them go in peace
and stroked the tiniest fingertips
singing lullabies til sleep.
I have learned tough lessons about disloyalty & pride,
I've been moved so sweetly, hurt so deeply
 I have laughed until I've cried
I've recovered from rape, only to have
someone I Love be preyed upon & victimized, 
reliving the horrors tenfold, when I saw them in their eyes
Being forced to go back
 & fight the battles over & over again
wanting to wash the memories off both
of our minds & skin
Yes, I've faced deaths & births, war & woe,
& walked alone down the hardest paths
where even the bravest men won't go
See, I am so much heavier than whatever it is I weigh
What really makes me big is that I can still wake up
everyday, and find beauty & joy in the world
& despite the pain, I can still be in Love with it all
what I'm trying to say is that despite my size
everything inside of me, really isn't small